Survival. Acceptance. Growth.

As things have gotten better in China, it continues to show how life could be in the future after the pandemic is over and we try to resume our normal lives.  Will it be normal again?  Or, is the life we knew before gone forever.  Surely, there will be some changes.  We will lose our way if we focus on things we cannot control.  We can change ourselves.  But, how?

Some people might be aware of the Kubler-Ross model of the 5 stages of grief.  There are different interpretations of this but generally they go:

1.      Denial / Isolation

2.      Anger / Fear

3.      Bargaining

4.      Depression / Sadness / Fear

5.      Acceptance

The goal is to get to the last stage where we can accept what has happened and move on; hopefully for the better.  Maybe we can learn a little bit about ourselves along the way.

I have been practicing yoga for over 10 years and have had a number of different teachers and studios.  I recall a few years ago when I was in a very stressful play and career change; my health was suffering and my mental state was always on edge.  I came across a small yoga studio in San Juan Capistrano, California not far from my tiny apartment overlooking Dana Point and Doheny State Beach.  After work, and before heading home for the day, I would often stop by for an hour or so to center my qi.  The owner of studio posted the following model on her Facebook page and I took it, and ran with it. 

This simpler model has the 3 stages for pandemic response; survival, acceptance, and growth. 

Survival

In the first stage we hunker down, isolate ourselves in fear and start to research everything we can about viruses (structure, spreading, history).  We become so consumed with the latest new and all the rumors of social media.  Because of this, we lose our productivity, we lose our sleep and in some cases, we lose our mind.  We also will have wild emotional swings (usually brought on by binge watching Netflix dramas or your significant other).  We go from sad to angry at the snap of a finger.  We start looking for people to blame.  “It’s this person, it’s that person.  It’s this country’s fault for blah blah blah”.   But, at the end of the day we’re no different than everyone else who is doing the exact same thing; just trying to get through the day and onto the next and hoping that things will start to improve.

Acceptance

This is not just an acceptance phase but also a self-discovery phase.  I think I learned about myself during this time.  I started to savor the little things around me and embrace some new routines.  It wasn’t easy.  I had to acknowledge some harsh truths about my diet and general laziness.  As much of an outdoor person that I am, my love for the outdoors was strengthened (absence makes the heart grow fonder).  My consumption of the apocalyptic news cycles began to wane.  As these realizations started to trickle into my consciousness, I began feeling a lot more at peace.  I started sleeping better, eating better, feeling better and as a bonus, my personal relationships began to improve. 

Growth

Now I find myself in the growth stage.  Living in China, I am a few months ahead of the rest of the world in all of this… kind of a FIFO inventory theory (First In, First Out).  I often find myself helping where I can both at work and within my circle of friends; many of whom have been devastated financially and socially by the events of the past few months.  This gives me internal feeling of job and satisfaction and I can really focus on things that I have direct control over.  In addition, I am better connected with my family because of the increased contact I have had them.  I appreciate the different skills that I have accumulated.  I’m not talking about tech and language skills but also life skills and coping skills.  Being able to apply these new additions to my life moving forward.

As a result of all this, I am more conf ident and excited about the future.  I’m looking forward to getting back into the classroom, back to my little travel adventures, and documenting my path here on my blog and on my Youtube channel.  The growth that we experience in the last phase will have a lifelong span and we’ll all savor each chew of our relationships with each other, with our environment, and with ourselves.